On my way to the Saturday Night Fever Dance I saw a group of musicians gathered under the trees playing guitar. This was my first Live and Learn Conference, and I had expected camaraderie, inspirational speakers, and fun activities. I didn’t expect that music at dusk, that impromptu gathering in such an unexpected place. Here was a sense of community, of each of us contributing in small ways to create an unexpected reality. It was in that moment that I understood that Southern word I had been hearing all week: Y’all.

It still reverberates in my bones as I remember the coming together of unschoolers near and far. We are greater than the sum of our parts. We are the collective “you.”

Live and Learn is not a conference, but rather a gathering of friends. United with a common desire to live freely and abundantly with our children, we came together on a mountainside in North Carolina for a few days in early September. Our experience will last a lifetime. We will recall the community that took us in and together, celebrated our likeness and appreciated our diversity. The festive atmosphere was stoked by the talents, ideas, and friendship of attendees, from the youngest to the eldest.

There is a Sanskrit word sangha that closely depicts the Live and Learn Conference. A sangha is a community of support and collective wisdom. In this atmosphere of safety and trust, the Blue Ridge Assembly became a commune a la the phrase it takes a village to raise a child. Our children were free to roam the grounds unencumbered, knowing the community’s watchful eyes were gentle, nonjudgmental and trusting. They played in the stream, on the playground, navigated the cafeteria, funshops, and special events. Dancing freely by the lake and dashing amongst the trees, laughter filling the air, children rekindled friendships and extended new ones. Adults cheerfully acted as liaisons amongst the kids and the swirl of opportunities.

I felt the strength of the sangha uniting and inspiring us in the beat of the drumming circle and the chorus of sing-along voices. I felt it during the Talent Show, chasing away anxieties. Who can forget a roomful of voices softly singing "Do You Know the Muffin Man" to a little boy clad only in white undies and a Superman cape?

Anne Ohman spoke of every moment being an opportunity to shine. This is where the true beauty of our community lies because we offer space for every emotion, every strength, every weakness. We create that shiny bubble of trust and understanding that nurtures courage, patience, perseverance, and vindication over fear. In our world we know that bravery is equal to boldness and there is room for it all, reasons for it all, opportunities for growth. For some, it was easy to jump on the stage and entertain the crowd, while others needed more time. It’s all good and the cheers of support and encouragement were difficult to distinguish from the response generated by a confident performance. It was all genuine from a crowd who understands that the journey is the best part. Shining is real and it happened at Live and Learn.

I felt the sangha friendship in the words of the presenters, offering experience, thoughts, and wisdom. There was connection as tears were shed in empathy and compassion as personal histories were shared and advice offered. Danielle Conger explained the journey with her spirited child, Rue Kream spoke of her free children, and we all witnessed whole children everywhere. Each soul present was acknowledged with honor and attention. Information was exchanged between generations as I heard adults listen to perspectives from teens and small children. Likewise, youngsters sought strategies from adults to deal with personal challenges. All the lines were blurred—age, race, gender, class—as we were all present, open and loving. All ages engaged and connected easily without coercion or manipulation.

And we had fun! Funshop leaders were inclusive, showing their tricks of the trade to novices and experts alike. No child was banished to a separate table with inferior supplies, but instead welcomed into the swirl creating jewelry, cloth dolls, ATCs, socks and balloon hats. We learned to Zumba, belly dance, and lead cheers. Some took their courage to the challenge courses, flying on the Giant Swing and scaling the climbing walls. A leisurely walk to sight birds or lounging at the pool was common to catch a break. Then, of course, we had those who “did nothing” but play video games all day! And, yes, we all thought that was great, too.

The sangha spirit was everywhere, shared and private. Cameron’s Fairy Godparents game was the perfect showcase for sharing the love as small gifts began popping up in the lounge. Then signs secretly appeared, like the one proclaiming, “Kira Is Amazing!” We remembered that hugs are good. The exuberance at the Saturday Night Fever Dance, empowerment at the Challenge Courses, patience and generosity at the funshops are all public examples of the spirited space we held.

Opportunities existed to uncover how the spirit was being integrated personally. Patrick Morris presented a quiet funshop called "Drawing as a Way of Knowing What You’re Thinking." Through a meditative process, images can appear from a series of twists and turns of pencil and paper. Before my eyes my paper sprung to life with loving families dancing and offering their gifts to each other, mothers wearing their babies and nursing them freely. These depictions were gathering energy from one another and spreading their joy as only a tribe can do. The Live and Learn Sangha had taken root in my spirit and was spreading its magic throughout my being as I swooned under its power. Now I have evidence, a talisman, as Patrick says, of the unschooling sangha and its abilities.

The henna is fading, but the spirit is strong. I used to believe this conference would be life changing. Now I know that it is life changing. After being infused with the collective, buzzing energy of the radical unschooling family, there is momentum to dig deeper on our journey. I have more ideas to integrate into our lives and more activities to strew along our daughters’ paths. I united with a trust that must be honored by living abundantly and peacefully every day, being the change I wish to see, being the advocate the wide wonderful world needs, as Miranda Demarest and Dayna Martin reminded. The change does not lie in proselytizing, convincing everyone that unschooling is the answer. The secret is to live as if I have no secrets. Live unabashedly in joy, laughing loudly, loving generously, and learning all the time. At Live and Learn, this unschooling lifestyle is on display and this is the culture our mainstream world needs to experience. So let’s bring it to them joyfully.

Like the pebbles in Diana Jenner’s Lake of Life, we are the stones in our culture’s ocean. Using her analogy that we all wash over and cleanse her, so too, can we change our communities. Our confidence, trust and freedom can be contagious and lead to a greater understanding of how living Truth can lead to harmony and happiness. Together we can spread great joy and create that unexpected reality, first at home, letting our ripples move freely forth. For a few days in the mountains of the South, we did it amongst our tribe. We are a collective of unschoolers with great power. We are the Live and Learn Sangha.

Flo Gascon is happily living and learning alongside her sweet husband and spirited daughters in San Diego. Her greatest passion is preserving the wonder, freedom, trust and joy that we all experience from our first breath.