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Living Our Dream
by
Angela Shaw
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Four
years have gone by since I took my daughters Lilly and Leigh, then 6
and 8, on a tour of a riding stable with a local homeschooling group.
At that time I never could have foreseen the changes that would come
about in our lives as a result.
As an unschooling mom I’d always felt it was part of my job
to make the girls aware of the wide variety of opportunities available
in our area. I had offered music lessons, dance lessons, karate,
theater, etc., but up until this point they had shown no interest in
any type of formal lessons. They seemed to enjoy watching things from a
distance rather than taking part, and as much as they share my love of
animals, I fully expected them to say no to the riding lessons that
were offered at the stable.
Much to my surprise both girls showed an interest in taking lessons.
(Of course it was the most expensive thing I had offered up until this
point.) Lilly continued to remind me to call and set up a lesson until
I finally did. I had hesitated because I was concerned about the costs,
but when I finally called I found they were willing to accommodate us
even though we couldn’t afford for both girls to come every
week.
That visit to the stable was the start of our love affair with horses.
Our weeks revolved around when the lessons were, and we started reading
everything we could get our hands on about horses. We subscribed to
several horse magazines, and we waited anxiously for each new issue to
arrive. We lost ourselves in many of the fiction series geared toward
young horse lovers. Our unschooling lives continued on much as before.
We lived each day following our interests but now we had a narrower
focus, an obsession some might say. (I see that as a good thing!)
Unfortunately, after riding for about a year, Lilly took a fall from a
horse and sprained her hand quite badly. Several months passed before
she gained the strength back in her hand that she needed to ride. At
that time we also moved to a riding stable closer to home. This new
stable focused on jumping and dressage, and those became the
girls’ new passions.
At the new stable, which was right up the road from our house, we began
volunteering. We started shoveling stalls and eventually became
comfortable handling the horses too. The girls’ instructor
was patient and kind while answering our endless horse questions.
Another year passed, and the girls and I were still as horse crazy as
ever. I knew they had the drive and passion to help care for a horse of
their own after seeing how they helped at the barn in all types of
weather with enthusiasm and caring, but horse ownership was a scary and
expensive prospect to me and at the time it seemed like an impossible
dream.
In August 2004 we went to the Live and Learn
Unschooling Conference in Peabody, MA. I participated in a
workshop by Barbara Sher, author of Wishcraft. One
of the things that she had us do was break into small groups and state
what our dreams were and what stood in our way. By doing this we could
brainstorm as a group and also open ourselves up to allow others to
help us reach our dreams. I stated that my dream was horse ownership
and I stated the things that stood in my way—money, not
knowing enough about horses to feel competent to care for them, and the
fear of all that can go wrong in selecting that perfect horse.
In saying these things out loud and realizing that what Barbara said
was true—that people are often willing to help you reach your
dreams if they just know what your dreams are—I realized that
our dream might be possible to attain after all. I went home with a
mission, talked to my husband who was more open to it than I had
imagined and asked the barn owner if she’d be willing to help
us find a suitable horse and perhaps give us a discount on board if we
were to shovel stalls and help around the barn regularly. She agreed
and even offered us a better deal than I could have hoped for.
The next step was to find the perfect horse for us. We needed a horse
that was calm and forgiving but one that was willing to work for my
short legged quiet girls. After going to see and test ride several
horses, we settled on a 17 year old fleabitten gray American Quarter
horse mare called Sugar. (Her registered name is Ms. Wind in the
Pines.) We hit a bump in the road with regards to getting her vet
checked because the only vets in the vicinity thought it was a conflict
of interest to do a pre-sale vet check on a horse that belonged to one
of their clients. Being new to horse ownership, I struggled with the
idea of taking such a big chance. In the end, I went against my better
judgment (I mean followed my heart), and we bought her.
Sugar became the focus of our lives. We would wake each day with
renewed excitement and head right to the barn. We quickly found out
that Sugar could be quite forward at times and at first it seemed like
she might be more horse than the girls could handle, but with lessons
they managed to gain enough control to feel good about riding her. It
was a challenge learning to keep a steady rhythm while riding her, but
both girls managed to meet that challenge, and our love for Sugar
continued to grow despite the nagging doubts I had at times when I
questioned the sanity of what I had done. I too began to take riding
lessons for the first time in my life, and I found out just what the
girls love about riding. It was the most challenging and rewarding
thing I had done in many years.
Fast forward two more years. We now have TWO horses that we love dearly
and they live right in our own backyard. (We had a small barn and
riding arena built this past spring.) We still have Sugar, and she has
proven to be a wonderful first horse. She now belongs to Leigh, my
oldest dd who is now almost 12. She challenges her just enough to keep
her on her toes and constantly learning, but she’s safe
enough to give pony rides on.
In a round about way we acquired Skippy, a 25-year-old chestnut gelding
with personality galore. (Last summer we ended up buying another mare
named Snickers for Lilly, but she did end up being too much horse for
her, so we ended up trading her for Skippy.) Skippy has taught us a LOT
about horse health and soundness. He has a lot of issues, but we love
him dearly and wouldn’t trade him for the world. He gave
Lilly (now 10) back the confidence that she had lost after Snickers
bucked her off and took off on her repeatedly.
Skippy is not completely sound at this point, so Lilly cannot do
anything more than walk around on him. But she loves him with all her
heart, and she can’t imagine not having him in her life.
It’s a good feeling (except for on the pocket book) to be
able to give him a permanent retirement home where he is loved. (I have
a strong suspicion that he’s had a hard life.)
The girls are now beginning their second year with the United States
Pony Club where they have met many good friends who share their love of
horses. They participate regularly in mounted lessons with the pony
club, and they love to go to shows and rallies. They still take private
lessons as we can afford them with several different instructors, and
they have learned so much from the different styles of instruction and
the different horses and ponies they are able to ride. Last winter they
went to the Pony Club quiz rally where they test your knowledge of
horses and riding (written and oral tests as well as hands on), and
their team took first place. They acquired all that knowledge from
following their interests.
In the end what it all boils down to is that I was able to step outside
my comfort zone to try to make my girls’ dream come true, and
in doing so all our lives have become richer and our dreams bigger than
we could have imagined.
I challenge all of you to really look closely and realistically at what
stands between you and your dreams. I challenge you to share those
dreams with people who may be able to help you reach them, and I
challenge you to face your fears and work toward making those dreams
come true. Because we were able to meet these challenges, our lives are
richer and fuller. I share a bond with my daughters through our shared
love for our horses that I am unable to put into words. We are living
our dream it’s an amazing life we share.
Angela Shaw lives in central Maine on a 5 acre gentleman's
farm with her husband Rick (19 years) and her two always unschooled daughters
Leigh (12 in December) and Lilly (10). They share their lives with
two horses (Sugar and Skippy) and two cats (Paws and Puff).
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