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Thanks
to the Lovejoys for having me here. I really feel a lot of love from
you all tonight....
With that, Danny Schmidt began his second set of a house concert on a
chilly, full-moonlit night at our home. We'd welcomed Danny to our home
some 3 to 4 hours earlier—fulfilling our commitment to host
him for a house concert, which we'd discussed with him outside of a
Charlotte club where he’d performed six months earlier.
Danny's music had become a staple in our home since Carly, Cameron's
girlfriend, introduced Danny to us about a year ago. We'd all become
fans of Danny's music for both separate and similar reasons. Danny sets
to song the mysteries of life as he sees them; we all relate to his
honesty in one way or another. Having the opportunity to see him in
Charlotte was one thing; having him come to our home for a house
concert was quite another.
While our e-vite list extended across the country, Danny added a twist
by e-mailing some friends in the local area about our concert. After
phone calls and e-vites went to those who'd answered Danny's call to
them, we welcomed 46 people to our home for the performance. Danny's
friends blended with ours, and people who came together as strangers
left as friends because of a shared connection with Danny's music. The
night was truly wonderful.
When planning the concert, we wanted as many of our unique tribe as
possible to join us. Some of you came; others could not. Still others
were able to connect through the e-vite and the link to Danny's music
at his website. In a big way, making Danny's music available to other
members of our tribe either in person or online was just another way
for us to stay connected. Facilitating this connection has taken on a
new importance to me since this year's conference in Albuquerque.
I have felt a pull to join with as many unschoolers as possible since
leaving Albuquerque, and the urgency for an unschooling presence has
stayed strong even 60 days later. Spending time with the Traaseths and
Jenners in Arizona just after the conference kept the comfort of our
gathering around me; meeting up with the Contis on that same trip
extended that warmth.
Our conference connections seemed to keep on going. Having the
Yablonskis visit less than a month after our return to SC prolonged
what I'd been feeling, and finding out that Danny wanted to do our
house concert while they were still visiting only continued the
persistent glow the conference had infused and furthered the potential
for more connections. The Yablonskis became the first people we invited
to join us the following month for Danny's concert, giving me the
opportunity to continue enjoying unschoolers in my midst.
I'd also used other ways to stay connected since Albuquerque, calling
more people more often, e-mailing more people more often, writing more
and reading more posts just to keep some part of you with me every day
since we left. I've talked about this need to stay connected with my
wife, Kelly, and several others over email and telephone and have
learned many people feel the same as I. The stories I was hearing from
several other conference goers were similar—people trying to
stay
connected with one another or new conference attendees for longer
periods in between conferences. While I don't think that is unique just
to the Live and Learn Conference, I must have been listening harder or
noticing it more with this year's gathering.
Our house concert this fall became another avenue to continue our
connections with unschoolers outside of the Live and Learn Conference,
just as our unschooling Halloween Party and weekend visits with those
close by have been.
And we weren’t the only ones making this effort. People
traveled from across SC, Georgia, North Carolina, and Florida to
connect again. Some came for the weekend; some came for an overnight;
and still others came for just the night of the concert itself.
Everyone drove: one family even rented a car just to be together again.
Some who were unable to come called in or e-mailed to wish us a great
time and let us know they'd be thinking of us.
This effort is what made such an impact on me—how important
it seemed for people to continue the connections, even if it meant
traveling up to 300 miles.
I think this motivation was part of what Danny was noticing when he
made his observation about the love he felt on our backyard deck at the
beginning of his second set. He noticed that miles and driving
distances could neither prevent us from gathering nor diminish the draw
we feel to one another's special light. He noticed
how much joy we find when we're together in the conversations we share
with one another—even when those conversations extend
across those miles. One friend who couldn't be with us talked with
Danny for a few minutes in between his sets, and he recalled that
conversation when he dedicated a song to her later in the evening.
After he finished playing, Danny joined us inside for some
conversation, sharing a story about a 12-year-old girl whom he'd met at
a commune some years ago. The girl, now 23 or so, described herself an
unschooler, and he felt he could see more of what that word meant by
spending the past several hours with those unschoolers who were present
that night. Danny mentioned how much he wanted to reconnect with that
girl again, and I think that decision may have had as much to do with
what Danny witnessed over the course of our collective night together
as it did with the uniqueness of that young woman.
~~~
As I fly west again just a day after the concert, I can't help but
think the
Albuquerque Live and Learn held much more than just the magic of a 5-7
day gathering in September. For many of us, it gave way to renewing the
connections and randomness that define our lives as unschoolers by
providing more opportunities for connections and the look to a future
open to the possibility of so much more.
When the palpability of those connections can be witnessed and defined
and honored by a "stranger" in a backyard of a home in SC, then that
palpability is exponentially multiplied by those of us who gather as an
"unschooling family" as a result of our new life's purpose. I
can’t help but think that love was there in our backyard last
night as Danny had pointed out, and though we may not have physically
seen you there, you were there as part of this tribe. You were there
with us when a poet from Austin stoked the fire of New Mexico by noting
the love and joy in the eyes and hearts of
those surrounding him and in the spirits of those who were not.
As 2006 comes to a close, I can't help but note how full our lives were
this
past year because of so many of you. Conferences in Massachusetts and
New
Mexico; new bluegrass and rock bands forming; camps for both boys; new
games
explored and enjoyed; new voices on e-lists and in our lives; trips to
North Carolina, Florida, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico (before the
conference), New Hampshire, Maine, and Mississippi (for a 450-mile bike
ride to Tennessee via Alabama); new music to share and hear; and new
explorations into our past all make way for a more promising, joyful
future—these are but a few connections we forged in 2006.
Of course, we still have the remainder of 2006 to explore the
opportunities generated through the intentional living we now share
with one another. As the lure to have those in our unschooling family
close becomes more important, 2007 is already building steam for
increased laughter, enjoyment, gatherings, travel and friendship. My
plans to include more unschoolers than ever in my life will help make
2007 even better than 2006, which will be no small order. But with a
renewed focus on gathering unschoolers near and far and a desire to
travel to new places, I'm excited by the possibilities that 2007 holds.
If I forget to thank you at the end of next year, I had a wonderful
time.
As I close this article out, I’m sharing the lyrics of a song
that Danny sang for us and gave me the permission to share with you.
The lyrics summarizes my words quite well.
Company of Friends
By Danny Schmidt
When I die let them judge me by my company of friends
Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand
Let them laugh for all the laughter
Let them cry for laughter's end
But when I die let them judge me by my company of friends
When I die let them toast to all the things that I believe
Let them raise a glass for consciousness
And not spill a drop for grief
Let the bubbles rise at midnight
Let the tongues get light as thieves
And when I die let them toast to all the things that I believe
I believe in restless hunger
I believe in red balloons
I believe in private thunder
In the end I do believe
I believe in inspiration
I believe in lightning bugs
I believe slow creation
In the end I do believe
I believe in ink on paper
I believe in lips on ears
I believe what's shared is savored
In the end I do believe
I believe in work on Sundays
I believe in raising barns
I believe in wasting Mondays
In the end I do believe
I believe in intuition
I believe in being wrong
I believe in contradiction
In the end I do believe
I believe in living smitten
I believe all hearts will mend
I believe our book is written
By our company of friends
When I die let them judge me by my company of friends
Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand
Let them laugh for all the laughter
Let them cry for laughter's end
But when I die let them judge me by my company of friends
If you are interested in seeing Danny or hosting him at your own home,
go to his website where you can find out more details, or listen to songs at his myspace page.
Ben
Lovejoy has partnered with his wife, Kelly, to host and grow the Live
and Learn Unschooling Conference since its inception in 2002,
and can be found conversing with other unschooling dads on the SSUDS list.
A private school, military college, and US Air Force alumni, Ben is not
your typical unschooling parent. Despite appearances, he's
been unschooling his boys, Cameron and Duncan, with his wife, Kelly,
for six years. Ben's personal favorite bumper sticker on
their car is "Question Authority". He loves music and film
and when he's not cycling the roads of America, Ben is lieutenant
colonel with the SC Air National Guard.... |
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