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Unschooling
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On phonics and learning to read:
...just being able to pronounce them in his
mind encourages him to
look for meaning in the context.
I don't understand this. Why would being able to pronounce a word
make someone want to know what it means more than if they couldn't
pronounce it? IMO, people want to know what unfamiliar words mean
regardless.
There she faced a room with labels on many
objects and lists of
sight words to memorize. Her reading is at a completely different
level than her brother's was at her age. She does not particularly
enjoy reading because she has to constantly stop and ask me about
particular words.
There is a world of learning to read between phonics instruction and
lists of sight words. The process can be pretty mysterious really,
but both of my girls figured it out on their own without
frustration. And even though they never had phonics instruction,
they can pronounce unfamiliar words quite well. And they don't
necessarily memorize each individual word either. Like I said, it's
mysterious With my daughters, it just kind of sunk in, and soon
they were reading just about anything.
My oldest dd began reading at 3, so my dh thought it was just a
fluke. But my younger dd is now 6 and suddenly surprising us all
with what she can read. Dh is amazed! He was made to feel stupid
as a child because his younger sister was reading before he was, but
it is such an individual process. I wish I could see inside the
brains of my girls because it is so interesting to see this unfold.
Ok, my point is that if a group of kids are taught with phonics,
some kids will pick it up and some will be tortuously sounding
things out for years. The same goes for memorizing sight
words—
that may work great for some and be painful for others. Why not
give them a chance to figure it out?
While they are definitely very different
learners, I am convinced
that resuming phonics instruction with her will make a big
difference.
A big difference to her? To you? Is reading important to her right
now, today? Is she frustrated because other people are trying to
tell her "this is how you learn to read" and she's not getting it?
I have only recently begun to consider
unschooling and my
philosophy on reading is obviously not very unschoolingish, but
perhaps some of you will consider my ideas as I have been
considering yours for the last few months.
We pretty much all went to school as children, and we probably all
encountered phonics instruction in school. Maybe some of us
remember it fondly—I don't know. I do remember SRA cards and
how
incredibly boring they were. It was all about doing the work and
moving on to the next level. I just did what I needed to do and
then read for pleasure at home, but then reading came easy to me. I
know that the huge box of SRA cards must have been overwhelming to
some of the other kids who weren't ready to read at 6 years old.
Just like my dh, who thought "I'll never read as well as my sister,
so why bother?" It took him years to get over that message and
realize that he is very smart, and he loves reading now.
So, if you have been considering our ideas, are you planning to try
any?
—Christy
Thanks for sharing your experience about phonics resources.
However, this sentence is the crux of unschooling, I believe:
Her reading is at a completely different
level than her brother's was
at her age. She does not particularly enjoy reading because she has to
constantly stop and ask me about particular words.
With unschooling, it really doesn't matter if a child is at a
completely different level than another was at any age. My perception
is that the ability to read only distracts from opportunities to do
other equally valid activities. I don't believe that there is a lost
opportunity for a child not to be able to read, until they are seeking
to do so. For instance, our son learns though observation, auditory
intake of information and memory/recall, instead of relying on the
written word for storing or exchanging information. The ability to
enjoy a (non)/fiction story is not limited to the written word, of
course. In fact, I don't believe that the written word has greater
value than storytelling or media representation of (non)/fiction. It
is just a different tool of conveying information.
The ability to sound out words, is discrete from the ability to
recognize meanings of words. The theory is that a person has exposure
to a larger vocabulary through the written word than through verbal
oratory. I guess that depends on if one is "stoping to constantly ask
about particular words," or not. Our son deduces meaning from context
independently anyway, or occasionally he asks about a new word. So, I
don't see the merit of reading "earlier" especially if one "does not
particularly enjoy reading," for whatever reason. When reading serves
its own value and enjoyment, there are many tools of enriching that
interest, beyond the use of a structured lesson since learning happens
all the time. Symbolic representation of meaning with words exists
everywhere; one doensn't need to read a phonics lesson to deduce how
letters are related to sounds. Our son just spontaneously pops out
with "mama, boy starts with the b-sound." He wasn't taught that, he
figured it out.
Respectfully,
—P
My daughter who came out of school at Spring Break in K (almost 8 years
ago) read somewhere between 10 3/4 and 11 1/2. She will be 13 in a
month. I had noticed that she was reading things online and I had been
waiting patiently with trust thanks to the people here and on other
lists. I really wanted her to read and enjoy it. I read very early and
it is one of my favorite things to do. My desire for her to read was
not because I thought that reading is "good for you," "It teaches you,"
or "how else is she going to LEARN anything?". I wanted to be able to
talk about and share one of my loves with her. If she didn't share that
love, that would have been ok too. We have plenty of things in common
even if we don't share the love of stories.
Anyway, I wanted her to understand that for some people, reading is a
hobby as well as a tool and can be very enjoyable. So I went to a book
store and picked up Are You There God? It's Me Margaret
by Judy Blume, one of my all time favorite books from when I was a
girl.
I literally thought, "If this doesn't work, she's just not that into
it."
She loved it, read the whole thing. She found joy in reading a story
just for fun.
She went on to read more Judy Blume, and then switched to young adult
chick lit.
Cool! fun light books about young women and relationships.
My daughter is also taking a World history class with some other
homeschoolers. She's the youngest one in the class, most are
eclectically schooled teens prepping for college and keeping
transcripts. She reads the textbook chapters with ease. What's amazing
is that there are no ulteriors. No have to's, no deadlines. This is all
for fun.
I didn't teach her to read. She learned in the same way that she
learned to talk. She listened, she made connections between sounds and
body language, she tried making sounds, analyzed the responses,
adjusted and tried again.
In reading she listened to sounds coming out of peoples mouths, noticed
patterns on paper (or screens) tried decyphering the sounds, analyzed
the responses, adjusted and tried again.
My son who is seven is starting this journey. He has been completely
unschooled since birth. There is a difference as he is not put off by
anything that could remotely be attached to school style learning.I
would guess that he will read a little earlier as he had no healing to
do. But, whenever!
It's all good.
—Elissa
Jill
On
unschooling a solitary child...
We don't know whether we should
try harder or intervene...
Intervention seems a weird word. What you should be doing is making his
world bigger than just your house or his bedroom.
What is available to him other than "home"? Are you offering to take
him
places? Do you make plans for picnics, shopping, walks and outings?
What
does your family do for fun?
He should have opportunity everyday of getting out of the house. Go to
book
stores, video stores, music stores, go for walks, go feed ducks at the
park, take a drive, go to a new restaurant, go to movies.
At home there should be games to play, people coming for dinner, lively
talk, family movie watching.
You do not have to force him to see friends or have friends over for
him to
have some social life. Getting out to shops and movies is a social
activity. Watching TV with mom and dad is a social activity. Having
adult
friends for dinner is a social activity. Playing board games with mom
is a
social activity.
Forget about the weight and forget about whether he has or wants to see
friends. Do things with him, take him places, get out of the house
together
or be at home "together," engaged, talking, sharing. His life should be
interesting and you should be making opportunities for it to be so.
—Deb
I agree with this completely. My son is
what some would call
antisocial, he doesn't like to be part of groups or classes or
whatever, he enjoyed tae kwon do for a while, school for a while,
clubs at the library, etc. But all in all, he likes who he is, and he
likes to do what he likes to do. He doesn't need the approval or
interaction of peers to prove himself. To that end, he's very social
when he wants to be. Take him to GameStop and he tries quite a bit to
interact with the people there. He talks with one of the librarians.
He has two friends that he'll seek out, but the rest of the time,
it's not important. Just yesterday I noticed some boys from his old
school in the park next to our house. I mentioned it to him, and he
just said thanks, but no thanks.
He loves to spend time with his siblings, but his favorite person to
go shopping with is me. He loves to go to the movies with B's old
therapist. He likes to go camping with his dad. All normal for him.
I'd say he's social like adults are, real social, not a contrived
type that's created by schools.
—Melissa
What are you doing for yourself? Are you
following your passions?
Are you including him in those passions? Are you inviting him to do
things with you? Are you seeking out in the community to see what
resources are available? Hang out at a bookstore in the manga section
(you may run into my daughter LOL!) Call the local college/uni and
see if they have a Japanese study program or Japanese cultural club.
Look through the community pages in the paper or call your local
community centers and see if there are any Japanese language classes
being offered. There are anime viewing groups (anime DVD's are
atrociously expensive so many anime collectors will get together to
share the anime that they have.)
My children have few friends their own ages. Even in our homeschool
group they seem to have somehow moved to the periphery during the
summer. That's ok with them. They have plenty of opportunities to
socialise with adults. While they wish that there was a huge
unschooling community in which they could thrive, they prefer to spend
time alone at home. They actually prefer going and doing their
interests without concern as to how many children are present.
Be engaged in his world. Learn Japanese with him. Rent anime (many
video stores have a whole anime section these days) and watch with
him. Read one of his manga series and talk to him about these things.
He has some really interesting passions. Look into the JET programme
which is a Japanese-English exchange program. (Google Jet programme
with the extra me) Play video games with him (even if you suck at
it—I do and it is like a major comedy hour when mom plays PS2!
"I'm
lost I'm lost! What do you mean go back? I don't even know where
back is!") He has some great passions! Strew in front of him even
more!
As for being an only child, my co-parent was essentially an only
child. He was one of those "Ooops babies" who was born 13 years after
his older brothers. By the time he entered kindergarden he was the
only one at home. He spent hours and hours by himself. His passion
was model railroading and he spent most of his free time and money on
this craft. He had very few friends (3 in fact) and if he did do
something with anyone it was these 3 guys. Guess what? He is
perfectly able to socialize with other people now. He doesn't regret
his childhood (at least that part of it) because he was given the
freedom to pursue his passions.
—Michelle
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