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Exploring the Creative Life
with
Ami McKay
Interview
by Ren Allen
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Visit
the official website for The
Birth House to learn more!
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The
Birth House, written by Ami McKay was released in the U.S. on
August 22nd of this year. I have been anxiously awaiting
it's arrival to our part of the world since its release in Canada.
Ami is not only a successful novelist, but an unschooling mama. I am
honored to be part of her "wise women blog tour" and hope you enjoy
reading her insights as much as I did!
Ren:
Give us a bit of the "story behind the story"—how The Birth
House came to you and what inspired a focus on midwivery
in Nova
Scotia?
Ami:
Writing The Birth House
came after several life-changing moments
in my life. I had been a single-mom living in Chicago, teaching
high-school music. Then, one morning when I was driving to work,
a car came out from a side street and plowed right into my car.
I was laid up for quite a while after the accident. While I was
at home healing, I wound up falling in love with an old friend.
He was also at a turning point in his life, so together
we decided it was time for some radical changes. A few months
later, we packed everything into a moving van and moved
into an old farm house on the Bay of Fundy in Scots Bay,
Nova Scotia. Little did I know that the house would lead me
to writing a novel!
It wasn't long after the move that I became pregnant with my
second child. As soon as I started to show, my neighbour as
well as other women in the area began telling me stories...
I soon discovered that our beat-up old farmhouse had belonged
to a community midwife in the early 1900's. The little village
(that still only has about 250 year-round residents) is fairly
isolated, and midwife-assisted births were the norm back then.
I was so fascinated with their stories of the midwife and their
beautiful traditions surrounding childbirth that I began to
research the history of midwifery in North America. (And even
wound up having a midwife assisted home birth.) After all that,
I couldn't help but put pen to paper.
Ren:
The history of your home is amazing; what an astounding gift!
I remember the first time I read one of your articles at soulfulliving
and felt a connection to your spirit through
the written word. Obviously, that's partially a personal thing,
but beyond that, how do you connect deeply with your readers and
craft words that really resonate with people and help them connect
with your writing?
Ami:
Wow, that's a great question...and something that I think about a
lot. To me, making connections is what it's all about. One of my
favourite quotes about writing (I even have it up on my personal
web site) was said by Raymond Carver—"Writing is just a
process
of connections."
When I set out to write The
Birth House, I wanted to write a book
that I would want to read. I would run to my writing desk
thinking,"What's going to happen next? What will I uncover today?"
I was trying to make sense of things in the past and the present
and hoping to weave together women's traditions and history in a
way that helped me understand where we are today. I was making
personal connections within the context of story...as a writer,
this is how I make sense of my world.
On a larger level, I think storytelling has served this same
function in the lives of humans, well, forever. Storytellers
pass along traditions, information, and wisdom in the context
of a tale...a tale that can be humorous, sad, frightening,
enlightening, etc. I can only hope that my stories—whether
in the form of a novel, a short story, a documentary,
etc—will have that same resonance with those who come to
them.
On my end of things, I try my best to write in a way that is
honest and true to the story, and let the "connections" speak
for themselves. If I've done it right, others will feel
something (for better or for worse, but hopefully never
indifferent) when they read my work.
Ren:
You've really hit on something deeply important—something
I talk about often—and that is the need for parents to be
an example to their children of a passionate, interest-led
life while involving their children in the process.
Many parents reading this might be feeling the urge to begin
expressing themselves creatively in some manner. Any tips
on where to start? How to get back in touch with that side
of your spirit in some form? Anything specifically for the
writer within?
Ami:
One of the really beautiful things that happened when we
started unschooling as a family was that I witnessed my
son re-learning how to "play" throughout his entire day.
He went through a transition period (like most children who
are used to being in school all day) where he sat around like
lump, wondering "what will I do today?" But it didn't take long
for him to realize that his time was his own...if he wanted to
read a book all day and well into the night, he could! If he
wanted to stare at an anthill for hours, he could! If he wanted
to pretend he was a tiger for three days straight, I
said, "go get 'em, tiger."
Curiosity and play go hand in hand, and I think sometimes
as adults we forget that. (We feel play is frivolous, time
wasted.) For me, my best ideas come after I engage in creative
activities. Anything from playing with patchwork pieces of cloth,
to looking for sea glass on the beach, to dancing with abandon
to my favourite music can help me break through to new
ideas—in my writing and in my life. Play kicks everything up
a knotch
and keeps my ideas and my perspective from being flat. (I'm just
learning about ATC's, and I'd say they are truly a beautiful
example of creative play!)
The other thing that has helped me in my journey as a writer
is practice. I began playing piano when I was five and wound
up in music school after high school. While I find rigorous,
enforced training can be stifling, I do think that the idea of
"practice" as a form of meditative commitment can be a wonderful
thing. What I mean by this is that you have to allow yourself room
to practice your art (writing, music, preparing beautiful meals,
dancing, painting, woodworking, photography, etc.) on a regular
basis. Even if you have other work or life commitments and feel
that your art is a hobby, it's important to feed your creative soul...
consistently and passionately. If you make space for practice
(instead of shoving it into your life in a haphazzard way) your art
will grow and you will grow with your art. Even if it's just an hour
a week!
When I first started making time for my writing, I would sit at my
desk and very little, if anything would happen. (Much like my son's
transition I mentioned earlier.) But after awhile, I knew that the
time was mine and that it would be there and that I was free to
do whatever I wanted with it. I chose to play.
Ren:
I totally agree with you about the importance of play,
for both ourselves and our children. It seems to be
undervalued in our society all too often!
Something I've noticed about highly creative people
is they all seem to have some kind of support network.
What kind of support network do you have? What nourishes
your muse beyond the walls of your workspace?
Ami:
My number one muse is my husband, Ian. He's always
been supportive of my writing, (in fact, it's his
fault I set out to start a career as a writer in
the first place!). He loves literature and is
beautifully creative as well, so his feedback means
a lot to me. Not only does he make sure there's plenty
of room in our homelife for my writing, but he's my
first reader and a fantastic cook!
I also have a phenomenal group of women in my life.
Locally, there's a group of mothers who I hike, gab,
and drink tea with—they are all very
creative—artists in their work and in their lives. It's been
a great source of inspiration to see other moms
making art and following their dreams! And, back in
the States I have my touchstones: my mom, my dad, my
siblings, my best friends from university. We talk on
the phone or see each other when we can, and it always
feels like "home." Ultimately, it's a fairly small
network, but these are the people who give me wings.
I hope I do the same for them.
Ren:
I can just about bet that you do!
There is a quote by Anais Nin: "When I don't write,
I feel my world shrinking. I feel I am in prison. I
feel I lose my fire and color. Writing is a necessity,
as the sea needs to heave, and I call it breathing"
Is that true for you also? How would you describe what
writing means to your life?
Ami:
I'm definitely not the same person (not a whole person) if
I'm not writing on a regular basis. (My husband was the first
to point this out to me!) I get terribly unfocussed and, much
like Anais Nin is saying, I find it difficult to "breathe."
Writing is an essential part of my life—no matter what
happens
with the publishing side of it, I'll always write. I may have
mentioned it before, but I can't think of any better way to
put it, I make sense of things (life, the world, past, present
and future) through writing. When my pen touches the paper,
it's like a key in a lock—a lock that's had a hold on my
understanding. (Of course, some days I feel more like a thief
with a thin, little pick, wiggling away at the lock, but that's
exciting too.)
Ren:
A novel seems a daunting task to most of us. What are some of
the baby steps that built up to a full-scale novel? How do you
take that first step?
Ami:
I'd love to take a poll, asking novelists if their first novel
had started out as such. To be honest, I didn't know what I
was making when I first started working on what would eventually
become The Birth House.
If someone had said, "I think you're
writing a novel." I probably would have had a really good laugh.
At first, I was just collecting stories. I recorded women in my
community talking about birth and what they could remember of
the midwife who had lived in my house. I recorded the midwife
who assisted at my son's birth, having her recall her memories
of the day he was born. I put these things together with music
and narrative I'd written and created a radio documentary for
CBC radio.
The stories stayed with me and wouldn't leave me alone. I moved
on and wrote a couple more radio documentaries, but I couldn't
stop thinking of the midwife and the things I hadn't been able
to uncover about her life. What had brought her to this role
in the community? What choices did a young woman have during
the WWI period? What did her life mean to me today?
I got up from bed one night and wrote the prologue to The
Birth House. (I didn't know that's what it was when I
wrote
it.) I played with putting a lot of things around it and
wrote quite a bit of narrative before I realized what I
was doing. (And then I thought, "heaven help me, I'm writing
a novel!")
Ren:
I love that you didn't realize you were writing a novel
to begin with. It gives me hope!
You've been an accomplished writer for a while and now a
successful novelist. The
Birth House has been on several
best seller lists in Canada, just released in the U.S. on
August 22nd, and is currently being printed in several other
countries. What things have surprised you about success?
What are the best and the most difficult parts about it?
Ami:
It all feels new to me and I hope that it always will.
I've tried very hard not to have expectations about what
should or shouldn't happen with my writing. (Heck, I try
to have that in every aspect of my life, but I'm still
working that out!) Probably the most difficult part of my
journey to publication was in letting the story go. I spent
hours and hours working on it alone, then with editors, but
then there came a point where there was nothing more I could
do, it was done. After that, it belongs to the readers.
The thing that has meant the most to me with the publication
of the book in Canada, and now in the US, the UK and other
parts of the world, is that readers are connecting with the
story and they are sharing it with others. It's been chosen
by many book clubs (and other groups), and it's been sparking
thought and conversations along the way! A Canadian reader
just sent a copy to a friend in Australia. A father from Nova
Scotia took a copy over to Egypt as a present for his daughter
after she had her first baby. Grandmothers are asking me to
include their daughters and granddaughters names in my
dedications so they can pass the book down. It's beautiful
and humbling all at once.
Ren:
Those are some beautiful connections. The book holds
powerful messages though, so I can see why it's spawning
those kinds of sweet and rich connections for your readers!
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights with
us here. It's been a lot of fun reading your views and
learning more about The
Birth House (which I am enjoying
immensely by the way....half way through now).
Here's to a #1 spot on the best seller lists in the
U.S.! Wishing you all the best Ami.
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