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Always
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On video gaming:
I watch the video games that my son plays
and they are all about creatures
chasing other creatures and destroying them ( not alot of strategy or
complex
thinking that I can see as someone suggested).
Have you played the games? Have you talked with him about the games?
Yesterday Simon and Linnaea and I were playing X-Men 2 on our gamecube
and they think alot about what they are doing. It looks very blunt
instrumenty, but as their characters go up levels they have to
distribute skill points based on what they want those characters to be
strong in. So if you want Magneto to be more mentally powerful spending
more points on focus is a good plan, but you don't really worry about
making Colossus smart. After Simon has been intensely focusing on a
game, he will run it out. Literally, he runs back and forth shooting
and talking as he goes working through whatever has just happened and
incorporating aspects of the game into a story. Sometimes he tells me
the stories he's creating, and they are amazing. He weaves the most
amazing details using whatever game he's been playing, or television
show he's been watching as a backdrop. Don't dismiss what you don't
know. Play the game, there is way more strategy and complex thinking
going on than just viewing them may suggest. Certainly there is enough
going on to keep your son's neurons firing for long after he's walked
away from the game. And by suggesting that there is nothing going on in
the game, you are slighting your son and his ability to find
interesting things to do.
I take him places to get away from the video
games.
Your sole purpose in taking him places is getting him away from video
games? Really? Do you honestly mean that? Maybe you need to think about
how you are approaching these games. It sounds like they are having a
more negative influence on your life than on your son's life. If it is
breaking your heart, why? Why can your heart be broken by your son's
enjoyment of video games? I can understand feeling left out because of
video games. Simon has definitely achieved a level of skill that I
cannot keep up with, or, at least, that I haven't kept up with. He and
Linnaea can spot things in a video game that I would miss. Their
ability to pay attention to what seem minor things to me, but what turn
out to be pivotal plot points in game or in cut scene, makes them much
better gamers than I am. But really, being heartbroken because your son
has an interest that you don't share seems a bit, well, melodramatic.
Do you have interests he doesn't share? Do you do things that aren't
about him?
You've just started saying yes to video games when before you were
saying no, right? The last e-mail you sent was about 10 days ago. Give
it time. Find something else to do while he works through the games,
actually, sit and play with him. If you have a game system, get a
second controller and a game that you can play with him and join in.
But let him trust that you aren't going to start saying no again. It
wil take a while for the novelty to wear off. Just like with anything
else novel.
It seems that you see this as a passive enterprise. I've watched ants
for hours. Heck E.O. Wilson has watched ants for years. If you were to
stumble upon him in the jungles of Brazil it wouldn't seem like he was
doing anything, except swatting flies, probably. It looks so incredibly
passive from the outside. But a lot is going on that you can't see,
that you can't judge. And video games are a lot more actively engaging
than watching ants or birds or a badger sett. At least from the outside
looking in.
—Schuyler
I
used to restrict the time my kids spent on games—computer and
Playstat—but haven't done so for years now. My oldest son -
the one
most retricted in that sort of play and many others—no guns,
no this
no that....—grew up the most inclined to violence and
such—not to
say he's vioent, but much more interested in boxing, guns etc. than the
kids that follwed.
Right now I'm sitting in our sitting room with 9 homeschooled / some
unschooled boys aged 13 - 23, ten computers (I'm allowed one!). One son
was here last night but is working tonight. They are having a LAN
party.
Three are ethical, vegetarian, atheists. 5 are serious christians. That
leaves the youngest who is atheist but not vegetarian. These are among
the nicest, most ethical young people I know. I'm 55 and apart from my
sons, who I love to bits and who I regard as friends, there is another
who I count among my closest friends. And all of them are just really
cool people. One 15 year old danced with me at a public dance for 2 1/2
hours the other night with no embarrassment—he needed a
danced partner
(ceroc) and I was there, so he danced with me.
They have been playing kill em shoot em games since 10pm Friday night
(New Zealand time—were into Saturday night here already) and
will be
here till Sunday afternoon.
Forget the broken heart. Your son is who he is, rejoyce is his being.
If
you don't make him feel bad about himself by disapproving of something
he loves, he'll be cool. Love him for who he is now, not who you
imagined he would be.
These kids here—they're cool. I just love these kids.
Couldn't ask for
better.
—Cally
I have had to change a lot of preconceived notions I had about video
games. My 5 year old loves them and right now is playing a lot because
he recently got some new games. Today I heard him read several
things on the screen. He has picked up numbers, ordinal numbers,
counting etc. from some of the games he plays so he can play
them better.
He has a 7 year old friend that he plays with alot.
They use a lot of imagination, laughing, interacting. They write
each other cards and thank you notes and draw each other pictures
when they are not around. They play Pokemon on the computer then
play with the cards then back on the computer.
My son has a feeling
of accomplishment and feeling he is good at something, but when he
loses at games, he is much better about dealing with it now. He is
also learning to make descisions about what he would rather do and
to set priorities. He has A LOT of interests, but right now video games
are very important to him.
Today a 3 year old friend was coming
over for an hour or so and whose mother does not really want her
exposed to the games. I explained to DS that it might be rude to
play them while she was over and asked if he could wait till she
left and play with her. He agreed but said, "you know Mom that is
how I live." He also told me he would rather stay home tomorrow
cause right now "he is into hanging out at home and playing." And
that is O.K.
—Laura
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