There is a new family attending my children's library program...wonderful homeschoolers whose company I thoroughly enjoy every week.

The names of the girls, however, have always intimidated me. I'm not very good at remembering names to begin with, and these girls' names are extra complicated for my aging and already over-booked brain. Twice, I asked them to spell out their names for me. After they would spell them, I wrote notes of how to pronounce the names in my notebook. I added other notes to help me learn their names. I added the words oldest child next to one of the names so I could remember which name belonged to which child.

But, I have been so busy every week that I never had the time to pay much attention to my notes. I spent a lot of time with the two girls, and we enjoy each other's company, but I always avoided addressing them by their names.

Today before they came, I made a point of looking at my notebook. When I saw them walking up the steps of the library, I left the other children, with whom I was crafting, and went to my desk and practiced these girls' names.

As they walked in the door, I went over their names in my head, placing the one name with the older, taller girl, and the other name with the younger sister. I looked at them, said their names out loud, but only so that I could hear. I said them over and over and over as I looked in their eyes, at their beautiful faces.

This was important to me because I knew that our connection wasn't complete until I made this effort. I didn't get to use their names right then, as it was time to begin the music portion of my program, and I had other people needing my attention again. But, I felt confident that I had studied and learned the names. I so wanted to speak them out loud.

After all of the children and I finished playing instruments and were cleaning them up, getting ready to read books, the older child was putting instruments in back in the bag. She handed the bag to me, and I saw the string for the triangle...it always slips off, and we have a difficult time keeping track of it. I didn't want to lose it, so I said, "Oh! There's the triangle string! Can you get that for me?" She found it and picked it up and put it in the bag. I said, "Thank you SO much, Rukiye!" (Roo-kee-ah)

My God. How she BEAMED at me. She looked in my eyes and gave me the biggest and most sincere smile I have ever received from a child other than my own. Her spirit was thanking me for honoring Her by way of her name.

I felt a great connection with her in that moment.

At the end of the program, as this family left the library, I said, "Good-bye Layla, Ali, Rukiye, and Zayneb! Thank you for coming!" More beaming—both from them and from myself.

It felt so good to say out loud the words that before had so intimidated me. I felt like I overcame a big obstacle...a fear of really screwing up. And the Universe became sweeter for my overcoming that fear.

Pondering the whole name connection, I remembered awhile ago...my sweet husband, Dave, said good-bye or hello or good morning or something like that to me...and he addressed me as "Anne." I asked him why he didn't call me any pet names. I call him honey and sweetie and love...he does call me "lover" much of the time, but most of the time he calls me Anne.

When I asked him why he said, lovingly and yet matter-of-factly, "I love your name."

OhMyGod. That made my heart melt. That never occurred to me. That he loved my name. I really felt like he was honoring me—all of me—for Who I Am, not just my name.

~~~~~

Growing up, I always hated my name. No teacher ever remembered it. I thought it was nothing spectacular, pretty boring and flat. And that silent e on the end was so troublesome, so confusing to so many. I hated it when people called me Annie and yet felt wrong in correcting them and letting them know that the "e" was silent.

I felt that if I had a more spectacular name, then my life would finally be as it should be...that I could be more spectacular myself.

There was that new girl in school. Her name was Star. Wow! Star! Not only did she have an awesome name, but she held the mystery of being the new girl...not someone who had gone to this same school her entire life, as the rest of us did!

And then when my new neighbor moved in, the girl who would become my best friend, I really hated my name even more. Her name was Christal. And she WAS so sparkly! She was wonderful, effervescent, and full of life and joy! I felt that it was all because her parents had made the right choice when giving her that glorious name.

But then one afternoon, Christal and I were sitting around trying to think of something to do. We couldn't think of anything and we were bored (well, Christal was bored...I was happy to just be with her!). She kept saying, "It's all because of my name...Chris-DULL!"

I was shocked. How could she think that about the most sparkly name I had ever heard? And didn't her fantastic personality come from her sparkly name? Maybe not. Maybe she just WAS that way. Maybe I could be different, live bolder, despite my easily-forgotten name.

~~~~~

Through the years, I did learn to like my name more. As I grew and became more the person I wanted to be, my name seemed to evolve along with me. And, the thing that I liked the most about it was that silent e on the end.

But, until my husband told me that he LOVED my name, and perhaps it was the warmth and love with which he said it, I never really thought that it was a part of me that I needed to really learn to love, to accept and to celebrate as a part of Who I Am.

I felt scared to delve into that territory. I had already spent many years learning to love me. It felt defeating and exhausting thinking that I wasn't finished yet until I learned to love my name, too. But, I knew it was something I had to work on in order to become the fullest expression of me that I could be at this moment in my life.

This gift of honoring one's name has come easily to me where my children are concerned. I knew early on that I never wanted to use their names in a negative way. It bothers me that some people only use a child's full name when reprimanding them. Even in dog training books, we are told not to use the dog's name in a punitive tone, or else the dog won't come to us when we want him to. He will associate the use of his name with him doing something wrong or bad.

I have always tried to apply this thinking with my children. I want them to feel completely celebrated when I use their names. It IS a part of Who They Are and it IS a part of how they Shine. Their names came to Dave and I before they were born, so even in-utero, they were honored by the use of their sacred names. I want them to connect their names with knowing they are and always will be incredibly loved and celebrated.

I think one of the most powerful statements of affirmation are the words "I Am," and I am very selective about the words I choose to put after those two words, making sure they are positive and represent the Truth of my spirit. I Am Whole. I Am Love.

I want my children always to associate "I Am Sam" and "I Am Jake" with "I Am Incredibly Loved and Valued and Honored and Celebrated."

But, was I able to go that far with my own name? Could the word, the name, Anne be equal to Whole Love? I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me in learning to believe that.

I just began. I just did it. I said it out loud.

"I Am Anne."

Wow.

Even today, these words feel really, really powerful to me. These words feel complete. They feel like Truth, Love, Honor, Celebration—me.

I know many people do not like their names, or they cannot connect with their names at all. I think if that's the case for you, then you should go ahead and give yourself a new one that speaks to your heart, that feels True and Right, that can complete the sentence, "I Am ..." and be right up there next to the truth in the statements "I Am Love" and "I Am Whole."

But, for me, I do love my name now. I Am Anne, and I will remain Anne, and I am thankful that I gave myself the gift of loving this part of mySelf.

Infinite potential. Unlimited possibilities of growing and learning. That's the power and the Truth of the words I choose to use after "I Am." Those two words and the sacred words we choose to put after them should be the source of How We Shine.

I Am Anne.

Nice to meet you.

Anne Ohman's first-born son introduced his family to this glorious unschooling path, and Anne honored and celebrated him by believing him and following him. And because of Jake's insistence on learning in his own way, in his own time, he and his brother, Sam, and his parents have since been joyfully growing and learning and Shining together on top of their rural mountain in New York State. Anne is also following her passions in her job as director of her own unique children's library program. More of her inspiration can be found at her Shine With Unschooling list, at scattered and unpredictable conference appearances, and in various other publications here and there, now and then...